The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 9 THIRD WHEEL

TIME BEGAN TO TRIP ALONG eeryw present much(prenominal) MORE QUICKLY than forward. School, work, and Jacobthough non necessarily in t palpebra ordercreated a unbent and effort s shadowy pattern to follow. And Charlie got his wish I wasnt miserable any more. Of course, I couldnt endow 1 across myself completely. When I stopped to orchestrate stock of my life, which I attempt non to do too often, I couldnt ignore the implications of my behavior.I was wish a lost moonmy planet destroyed in somewhat cataclysmic, disaster- picture show scenario of desolationthat continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight sm completely-minded orbit around the empty spot left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.I was give-up the ghostting kick slewstairs with my bike, which meant a couple of(prenominal)er bandages to worry Charlie. except it withal meant that the articulation in my dot began to fade, until I comprehend it no more. Quietly, I panicked. I threw myself into the s earch for the meadow with slightly frenzied intensity. I racked my brain for an opposite(prenominal) adrenaline-producing activities.I didnt keep track of the days hat passedthither was no reason, as I tried to live as much in the present as possible, no past fading, no rising impending. So I was surprised by the experience when Jacob brought it up on unmatchable of our cornerstonework days. He was waiting when I pulled up in confront of his house.Happy Valentines daylight, Jacob utter, smiling, tho ducking his matter as he greeted me.He held rise a sm whole, pink stripe, balancing it on his palm. dialogue meetts.Well, I pure tone uniform a schmuck, I mumbled. Is today Valentines Day?Jacob shook his head with mock mourning. You sess be so break of it sometimes. Yes, it is the four-spotteenth day of February. So ar you going to be my Valentine? Since you didnt reach me a fifty-cent box of mountaindy, its the least you can do.I undertakeed to smell uncomfort able. The haggle were teasing, only when only on the sur expression.What exactly does that entail? I hedged.The usualslave for life, that variant of thing.Oh, well, if thats wholly I took the candy. hardly I was trying to trust of some way to dissemble the boundaries clear. Again. They seemed to get blurred a lot with Jacob.So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking, or the ER?Hiking, I decided. Youre not the only one who can be obsessive. Im starting to think I dependd that billet I fr suck ined into situation.Well find it, he assured me. Bikes Friday? he offered.I saw a chance and took it with let on taking time to think it finished with(predicate).Im going to a movie Friday. Ive been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go disclose forever. micro peal would be pleased. only when Jacobs face fell. I caught the expression in his sulky imagine earlier he dropped them to look at the ground.Youll come too, discipline? I added quickly. Or will it be too much of a drag with a bunch of boring seniors? So much for my chance to limit some distance between us. I couldnt stand hurting Jacob weseemed to be connected in an odd way, and his pain set off atomic stabs of my own. Also, the idea of having his company for the ordealI had promised mike, however re on the wholey didnt feel any inspiration at the design of following throughwas just too tempting.Youd like me to come, with your friends there?Yes, I take onted honestly, subsisting as I continued that I was belike shooting myself in the foot with my legers. Ill feed a lot more fun if youre there. Bring Quil, and well net it a party.Quils gonna freak. Senior girls. He chortled and turn everyplace his eye. I didnt mention Embry, and neither did he. I laughed, too. Ill try to get hin a good selection.I broached the subject with microphone in English.Hey, microphone, I give tongue to when class was over. argon you lax Friday night?He looked up, his downcast eyes instantly hopeful. Yeah, I am. You want to go tabu?I worded my reply carefully. I was thinking rough getting a chemical groupI emphasized the wordtogether to go see Crosshairs. Id through my homework this timeeven reading the movie spoilers to be sure I wouldnt be caught off guard. This movie was hypothetical to be a bloodbath from start to finish. I wasnt so recovered that I could stand to sit through a romance. Does that sound like fun? sure, he agreed, visibly less eager.Cool.After a second, he perked back up to near his former excitement level. How about we get Angela and Ben? Or Eric and Katie?He was determined to make this some kind of double date, apparently.How about both? I suggested And Jessica, too, of course. And Tyler and Conner, and peradventure Lauren, I tacked on grudgingly. I had promised Quil variety.Okay, microphone muttered, foiled.And, I continued, Ive got a oppose of friends from La Push Im inviting. So it sounds like well need your Suburban if everyone comes. mikes eyes narrowed in suspicion.These are the friends you spend all your time perusing with now?Yep, the very ones, I answered cheerfully. Though you could look at it as tutoringtheyre only sophomores.Oh, mike said, surprised. After a second of persuasion, he smiled.In the end, though, the Suburban wasnt necessary.Jessica and Lauren claimed to be busy as in advance long as mike let it slip that I was involved in the planning. Eric and Katie already had plansit was their three-week anniversary or something. Lauren got to Tyler and Conner before mike could, so those two were also busy. nonetheless Quil was outgrounded for fighting at school. In the end, only Angela and Ben, and, of course Jacob, were able to go.The pinched numbers didnt dampen mikes anticipation, though. It was all he could talk about Friday.Are you sure you dont want to see Tomorrow and Forever instead? he asked at lunch, naming the current romantic comedy that was ruling the box office. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a r emediate review.I want to see Crosshairs I insisted. Im in the mood for action. Bring on the blood and gutsOkay. Mike turned away, only when not before I saw his maybe-shes-crazy-after-all expression.When I got home from school, a very familiar car was parked in front of my house. Jacob was leaning once morest the hood, a huge grin lighting up his face. zero(prenominal)way I shouted as I jumped out of the truck. Youre done I cant believe it You finished the dasHe beamed. fitting last night. This is the maiden voyage.Incredible. I held my ease up up for a racy five.He smacked his kick in against mine, however left it there, twisting his fingers through mine. So do I get to drive tonight?Definitely, I said, and consequently I sighed.Whats amiss(p)?Im giving upI cant top this one. So you win. Youre oldest.He shrugged, not surprised by my capitulation. Of course I am.Mikes Suburban chugged around the corner. I pulled my hand out of Jacobs, and he nude a face that I wasnt mean t to see.I remember this guy, he said in a low voice as Mike parked across the street. The one who thought you were his girlfriend. Is he still confused?I raised one eyebrow. Some community are hard to discourage.Then again, Jacob said thoughtfully, sometimes persistence pays off. roughly of the time its just annoying, though.Mike got out of his car and crossed the road.Hey, Bella, he greeted me, and accordingly his eyes turned wary as he looked up at Jacob. I glanced briefly at Jacob, too, trying to be objective. He sincerely didnt look like a sophomore at all. He was just so bigMikes head barely cleared Jacobs get up I didnt even want to think where I measured next to himand then his face was older-looking than it used to be, even a month ago.Hey, Mike Do you remember Jacob Black?Not really. Mike held out his hand.Old family friend, Jacob introduced himself, agitate hands. They locked hands with more force than necessary. When their grip stone-broke, Mike flexed his fingers. I heard the phone ringing from the kitchen.Id give way get thatit business leader be Charlie, I told them, and dashed inside.It was Ben. Angela was offensive with the stomach flu, and he didnt feel like climax without her. He apologized for bailing on us.I walked slowly back to the waiting boys, shudder my head. I really hoped Angela would feel better soon, but I had to admit that I was selfishly upset by this development. further the three of us, Mike and Jacob and me, together for the eveningthis had worked out brilliantly, I thought with grim sarcasm.It didnt seem like Jake and Mike had made any progress towards friendship in my absence. They were some(prenominal) yards apart, facing away from each other as they waited for me Mikes expression was sullen, though Jacobs was cheerful as everlastingly.Ang is sick, I told them glumly. She and Ben arent coming.I guess the flu is qualification another round. Austin and Conner were out today, too. by chance we should do this ano ther time, Mike suggested.Before I could agree, Jacob spoke.Im still up for it. But if youd rather to stay on behind, MikeNo, Im coming, Mike interrupted. I was just thinking of Angela and Ben. Lets go. He started toward his Suburban.Hey, do you mind if Jacob drives? I asked. I told him he couldhe just finished his car. He built it from scratch, all by himself, I bragged, proud as a PTA mom with a student on the principals list.Fine, Mike snapped.All right, then, Jacob said, as if that colonized everything. He seemed more comfortable than anyone else.Mike climbed in the backseat of the Rabbit with a disgusted expression.Jacob was his customary sunny self, chattering away until Id all but forgotten Mike sulking silently in the back.And then Mike diverged his strategy. He leaned preliminary, resting his chin on the shoulder of my seat his cheek approximately touched mine. I shifted away, turning my back toward the window.Doesnt the radio work in this thing? Mike asked with a hint of petulance, interrupting Jacob mid-sentence.Yes, Jacob answered. But Bella doesnt like music.I stared at Jacob, surprised. Id never told him that.Bella? Mike asked, annoyed.Hes right, I mumbled, still looking at Jacobs serene profile.How can you not like music? Mike demanded.I shrugged. I dont chicane. It just irritates me.Hmph. Mike leaned away.When we got to the theater, Jacob handed me a ten-dollar bill.Whats this? I objected.Im not old enough to get into this one, he reminded me.I laughed out loud. So much for relative ages. Is Billy going to kill me if I reverse you in?No. I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence.I snickered, and Mike quickened his pace to keep up with us.I almost wished that Mike had decided to bow out. He was still sullennot much of an addition to the party. But I didnt want to end up on a date alone with Jacob, either. That wouldnt serving anything.The movie was exactly what it professed to be. In just the inauguration credits, fo ur people got blown up and one got beheaded. The girl in front of me put her hands over her eyes and turned her face into her dates chest. He patted her shoulder, and winced occasionally, too. Mike didnt look like he was watching. His face was relentless as he glared toward the fringe of curtain above the screen.I settled in to endure the two hours, watching the colors and the movement on the screen rather than seeing the shapes of people and cars and houses. But then Jacob started sniggering.What? I whispered.Oh, cmon he hissed back. The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake can you get?He chuckled again, as a flagpole speared another man into a concrete wall.After that, I really watched the show, laughing with him as the mayhem got more and more ridiculous. How was I ever going to fight the blurring lines in our relationship when I enjoyed being with him so much?Both Jacob and Mike had claimed the armrests on either side of me. Both of their hands rested lightly, palms up, in an unnatural looking position. Like steel bear traps, outdoors and ready. Jacob was in the habit of taking my hand whenever the opportunity presented itself, but here in the darkened movie theater, with Mike watching, it would have a different significanceand I was sure he knew that. I couldnt believe that Mike was thinking the similar thing, but his hand was placed exactly like Jacobs.I folded my harness tightly across my chest and hoped that both their hands fell asleep.Mike gave up first. About halfway through the movie, he pulled his arm back, and leaned forward to put his head in his hands. At first I thought he was reacting to something on the screen, but then he moaned.Mike, are you authorise? I whispered.The couple in front of us turned to look at him as he groaned again.I could see the sheen of travail across his face in the light from the screen.Mike groaned again, and bolted for the door. I got up to follow him, and Jacob copied me immediately.No, stay, I whispered. Ill make sure hes all right.Jacob came with me anyway.You dont have to come. stool your eightsome bucks worth of carnage, I insisted as we walked up the aisle.Thats okay. You sure can plunk down them, Bella. This movie really sucks. His voice rose from a whisper to its normal pitch as we walked out of the theater.There was no sign of Mike in the hallway, and I was prosperous then that Jacob had come with mehe ducked into the mens tooshie to check for him there.Jacob was back in a few seconds.Oh, hes in there, all right, he said, rolling his eyes. What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.Ill keep my eyes open for someone like that.We were all alone in the hallway. Both theaters were halfway through the movie, and it was desertedquiet enough for us to hear the popcorn popping at the concession counter in the lobby.Jacob went to sit on the velveteen-upholstered bench again st the wall, patting the space beside him.He sounded like he was going to be in there for a while, he said, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he settled in to wait.I joined him with a sigh. He looked like he was thinking about blurring more lines. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down, he shifted over to put his arm around my shoulders.Jake, I protested, leaning away. He dropped his arm, not looking bothered at all by the minor rejection. He reached out and took my hand firmly, wrapping his other hand around my radiocarpal joint when I tried to pull away again. Where did he get the impudence from?Now, just hold on a minute, Bella, he said in a calm voice. Tell me something.I grimaced. I didnt want to do this. Not just not now, but not ever. There was vigour lett in my life at this point that was more important than Jacob Black. But he seemed determined to ruin everything.What? I muttered sourly.You like me, right?You know I do. relegate than that joker puking his guts o ut in there? He gestured toward the bathroom door.Yes, I sighed.Better than any of the other guys you know? He was calm, sereneas if my answer didnt matter, or he already knew what it was.Better than the girls, too, I pointed out.But thats all, he said, and it wasnt a question.It was hard to answer, to check out the word. Would he get hurt and avoid me? How would I stand that?Yes, I whispered.He grinned down at me. Thats okay, you know. As long as you like me the best. And you think Im good-lookingsort of. Im prepared to be annoyingly persistent.Im not going to change, I said, and though I tried to keep my voice normal, I could hear the sadness in it.His face was thoughtful, no longer teasing. Its still the other one, isnt it?I cringed. Funny how he seemed to know not to say the namejust like before in the car with the music. He picked up on so much about me that I never said.You dont have to talk about it, he told me.I nodded, grateful.But dont get mad at me for hanging around, ok ay? Jacob patted the back of my hand. Because Im not giving up. Ive got loads of time.I sighed. You shouldnt waste it on me, I said, though I treasured him to. Especially if he was spontaneous to accept me the way I wasdamaged goods, as is.Its what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me. I cant imagine how I could not like being with you, I told him honestly.Jacob beamed. I can live with that. unless dont expect more, I warned him, trying to pull my hand away. He held onto it obstinately.This doesnt really bother you, does it? he demanded, squeezing my fingers.No, I sighed. Truthfully, it matt-up nice. His hand was so much cranker than mine I always felt too cold these days.And you dont care what he thinks. Jacob jerked his thumb toward the bathroom.I guess not.So whats the problem?The problem, I said, is, that it means something different to me than it does to you.Well. He tightened his hand around mine Thats my problem, isnt it?Fine, I grumbled. Dont forget it, t hough.I wont. The pins out of the grenade for me, now, eh? He poked me in the ribs.I roll my eyes. I guess if he felt like making a joke out of it, he was entitled.He chuckled quietly for a minute while his pinky finger absently traced designs against the side of my hand.Thats a funny scar youve got there, he suddenly said, twisting my hand to examine it. How did thathappen?The index finger of his free hand followed the line of the long silvery crescent that was barely subgross against my pale skin.I scowled. Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars come from?I waited for the memory to hitto open the gaping hole. But, as it so often did, Jacobs presence kept me whole.Its cold, he murmured, pressing lightly against the place where James had cut me with his teeth.And then Mike stumbled out of the bathroom, his face snowy and covered in sweat. He looked horrible.Oh, Mike, I gasped.Do you mind loss early? he whispered.No, of course not. I pulled my hand free and wen t to help Mike walk. He looked unsteady.Movie too much for you? Jacob asked heartlessly.Mikes glare was malevolent. I didnt actually see any of it, he mumbled. I was nauseated before the lights went down.Why didnt you say something? I scolded as we staggered toward the exit.I was hoping it would pass, he said.Just a sec, Jacob said as we reached the door. He walked quickly back to the concession stand.Could I have an empty popcorn bucket? he asked the salesgirl. She looked at Mike once, and then thrust a bucket at Jacob.Get him outside, please, she begged. She was obviously the one who would have to clean the substructure.I towed Mike out into the cool, wet air. He inhaled deeply. Jacob was right behind us. He helped me get Mike into the back of the car, and handed him the bucket with a serious gaze.Please, was all Jacob said.We rolled down the windows, letting the icy night air blow through the car, hoping it would help Mike. I curled my arms around my legs to keep warm.Cold, agai n? Jacob asked, putting his arm around me before I could answer.Youre not?He shook his head.You must have a fever or something, I grumbled. It was freezing. I touched my fingers to his forehead, and his head was gamey.Whoa, Jakeyoure burning upI feel fine. He shrugged. Fit as a fiddle.I frowned and touched his head again. His skin blazed under my fingers.Your hands are like ice, he complained.Maybe its me, I allowed.Mike groaned in the backseat, and threw up in the bucket. I grimaced, hoping my own stomach could stand the sound and smell. Jacob checked anxiously over his shoulder to make sure his car wasnt defiled.The road felt longer on the way back.Jacob was quiet, thoughtful. He left his arm around me, and it was so warm that the cold wind felt good.I stared out the windshield, consumed with guilt.It was so wrong to encourage Jacob. Pure selfishness. It didnt matter that Id tried to make my position clear. If he felt any hope at all that this could turn into something other tha n friendship, then I hadnt been clear enough.How could I explain so that he would understand? I was an empty shell. Like a vacant housecondemnedfor months Id been short uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was alljust the one small piece. He deserved better than thatbetter than a one-room, falling-down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in working order.Yet I knew that I wouldnt take aim him away, regardless. I needed him too much, and I was selfish. Maybe I could make my side more clear, so that he would know to leave me. The thought made me shudder, and Jacob tightened his arm around me.I drove Mike home in his Suburban, while Jacob followed behind us to take me home. Jacob was quiet all the way back to my house, and I wondered if he were thinking the same things that I was. Maybe he was changing his mind.I would invite myself in, since were early, he said as we pulled up next to my truck. But I think you might be right about the fever. Im starting to feel a little strange.Oh no, not you, too Do you want me to drive you home?No. He shook his head, his eyebrows pulling together. I dont feel sick yet. Just wrong. If I have to, Ill pull over.Will you direct me as soon as you get in? I asked anxiously.Sure, sure. He frowned, staring ahead into the darkness and biting his lip.I opened my door to get out, but he grabbed my wrist lightly and held me there. I noticed again how hot his skin felt on mine.What is it, Jake? I asked.Theres something I want to part you, Bella but I think its going to sound kind of corny.I sighed. This would be more of the same from the theater. Go ahead.Its just that, I know how youre unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesnt help anything, but I wanted you to know that Im always here. I wont ever let you downI promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?Yeah, Jake. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know.The smile broke across his face the way the sunrise set the clouds on fire, and I wanted to cut my tongue out. I hadnt said one word that was a lie, but I should have lied. The truth was wrong, it would hurt him. I would let him down.A strange look crossed his face. I really think Id better go home now, he said.I got out quickly.Call me I yelled as he pulled away.I watched him go, and he seemed to be in control of the car, at least. I stared at the empty street when he was gone, tonicity a little sick myself, but not for any physical reason.How much I wished that Jacob Black had been natural my brother, my flesh-and -blood brother, so that I would have some legitimate claim on him that still left me free of any blame now. Heaven knows I had never wanted to use Jacob, but I couldnt help but interpret the guilt I felt now to mean that I had. scour more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knewknew it in th e pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chestwas how love gave someone the power to break you.Id been broken beyond repair.But I needed Jacob now, needed him like a drug. Id used him as a crutch for too long, and I was in deeper than Id planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldnt bear for him to be hurt, and I couldnt keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew that I would let him try.He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough.I went inside to sit by the phone and prick my nails.Movie over already? Charlie asked in surprise when I came in. He was on the floor, just a foot from the TV. Must be an provoke game.Mike got sick, I explained. Some kind of stomach flu.You okay?I feel fine now, I said doubtfully. Clearly, Id been exposed.I leaned against the kitchen counter, my hand inches from the phone, and tried to wait patiently. I thought of the strange look on Jacobs face before he drove away, and my fingers started drumming against the counter. I should have insisted on driving him home.I watched the clock as the minutes ticked by Ten. Fifteen. Even when I was driving, it took only fifteen minutes, and Jacob drove faster than I did. 18 minutes. I picked up the phone and dialed.It rang and rang. Maybe Billy was asleep. Maybe Id dialed wrong. I tried again.On the eighth ring, just as I was about to hang up, Billy answered.Hello? he asked. His voice was wary, like he was expecting bad news.Billy, its me, Belladid Jake make it home yet? He left here about twenty minutes ago.Hes here, Billy said tonelessly.He was supposed to call me. I was a little irritated. He was getting sick when he left, and I was worried.He was too sick to call. Hes not feeling well right now. Billy sounded distant. I recognize he must want to be with Jacob.Let me know if you need any help, I offered. I could come down. I thought of Billy, stuck in his chair, and Jake fending for himselfNo, no, Billy said quickly. Were fine. Stay at your place.The way he said it was almost rude.Okay, I agreed.Bye, Bella.The line disconnected.Bye, I muttered.Well, at least hed made it home. Oddly, I didnt feel less worried. I trudged up the stairs, fretting. Maybe I would go down before work tomorrow to check on him. I could take soupwe had to have a can of Campbells around here somewhere.I realized all such plans were canceled when I woke up earlymy clock said four thirtyand sprinted to the bathroom. Charlie found me there a half hour later, lying on the floor, my cheek pressed against the cold edge of the bathtub.He looked at me for a long moment.Stomach flu, he finally said.Yes, I moaned.You need something? he asked.Call the Newtons for me, please, I instructed hoarsely. Tell them I have what Mike has, and that I cant make it in today. Tell them Im sorry.Sure, no prob lem, Charlie assured me.I dog-tired the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, sleeping for a few hours with my head on a crumpled up wipe. Charlie claimed that he had to work, but I suspected that he just wanted access to a bathroom. He left a glass of water on the floor beside me to keep me hydrated.It woke me up when he came back home. I could see that it was dark in my roomafter nightfall. He clumped up the stairs to check on me.Stillalive? disunite of, I said.Do you want anything?No, thanks.He hesitated, clearly out of his element. Okay, then, he said, and then he went back down to the kitchen.I heard the phone ring a few minutes later. Charlie spoke to someone in a low voice for a moment, and then hung up.Mike feels better, he called up to me.Well, that was encouraging. Hed only gotten sick eight hours or so before me. Eight more hours. The thought made my stomach turn, and I pulled myself up to lean over the toilet.I fell asleep on the towel again, but when I woke up I was in my bed and it was light outside my window. I didnt remember moving Charlie must have carried me to my roomhed also put the glass of water on my bedside table. I felt parched. I chugged it down, though it tasted funny from sitting stagnant all night.I got up slowly, trying not to trigger the nausea again. I was weak, and my mouth tasted horrible, but my stomach felt fine. I looked at my clock.My twenty-four hours were up.I didnt compact it, eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast. Charlie looked relieved to see me recovered.As soon as I was sure that I wasnt going to have to spend the day on the bathroom floor again, I called Jacob.Jacob was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting I knew he wasnt over it.Hello? His voice was broken, cracking.Oh, Jake, I groaned sympathetically. You sound horrible.I feel horrible, he whispered.Im so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks.Im glad I went. His voice was still a whisper. Dont blame yourself. This isnt your f ault.Youll get better soon, I promised. I woke up this morning, and I was fine.You were sick? he asked dully.Yes, I got it, too. But Im fine now.Thats good. His voice was dead.So youll probably be better in a few hours, I encouraged.I could barely hear his answer. I dont think I have the same thing you did.Dont you have the stomach flu? I asked, confused.No. This is something else.Whats wrong with you? eachthing, he whispered. Every part of me hurts.The pain in his voice was nearly tangible.What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?Nothing. You cant come here. He was abrupt. It reminded me of Billy the other night.Ive already been exposed to whatever you have, I pointed out.He ignored me. Ill call you when I can. Ill let you know when you can come down again.JacobIve got to go, he said with sudden urgency.Call me when you feel better.Right, he agreed, and his voice had a strange, bitter edge.He was silent for a moment. I was waiting for him to say goodbye, but he waited too.Ill see you soon, I finally said. Wait for me to call, he said again. Okay Bye, Jacob.Bella, he whispered my name, and then hung up the phone.